I May Drown…

You know what? I was going to write this long blog about the safety of reopening schools and how I plan to structure and deal with my 1st grader with behavior issues. I have been working on that post since about 7 AM. Screw it.

Instead, its not even 10:30 AM, I’ve made breakfast, drank my coffee, put my 4-year-old back to bed for being a crabby butt, had a discussion with my six year old about how playing his tablet will not make his legs stop hurting an neither will going to Momo’s or being in the living room.

I still have clothes to fold, dishes to wash, and pause while I mediate another temper fit/tattle tale. The 4-year-old just threw a Black Panther action figure at the 3-year-old. At this point, again not even 10:30 AM, I have already separated all three of my children.

The hardest part of the coming school year for so many parents is not going to be the restructuring of their lives and homes. It won’t be helping teach. It will be simply figuring out how to do all of those things while our kids act like kids and we relearn all those things from school we forgot so we can explain them to our offspring.

We will also still have to clean our homes, do the laundry, plan and cook meals (for many on a limited budget), and we are not allowed to sell our children to the zoo. I’m sure most parents can agree that is a very tempting thought some days.

This is not going to change any time soon. Things are going to get worse again. We are going to go mad. COVID-19 cases will rise with students back in school. Children are walking petri dishes after all. Cold and flu season is on the way and all those respiratory illnesses are going to have parents and school faculty jumping like crazy at every cough and sneeze.

I am looking towards nothing but in sanity and there is not a damned thing I can do about it. I roll with the punches. I can pivot this way an that. I can’t fix anything.

There is some saying regarding how it takes village to raise a child. I am assembling one to help with the schooling. I learned the hard way I am an awful teacher and I will do my best, but I am awful. I have no patience for students who do not to pay attention or willfully ignore instructions. You know, like little kids do. So I have a village.

I don’t know how long I will have that village. If case rise far enough and fast enough, I will be on my own.

You may ask, “Where is my husband in all this?” He is working two jobs. One is a lot of physical labor, and the other entails late nights. He tries to help out but he isn’t home during the day during most of the week. He is also about as patient a teacher as I am.

Now this may be a lot of stress over something that may not be an issue. the teachers may have so much more of this figured out than I know. I really doubt it but who knows. They may surprise me.

I am literally just one mom. I am going to drown in this new version of school and I’m not even a student. I am no longer trying to manage the new normal but looking for a way to actually live a life with some level of meaning outside the box that makes up my home.

I am sure many people are trying to do the same thing and wish you all luck. You’re going to need it to live in this new version of life. Don’t let yourself drown.

-Just One Mom

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